Saturday, June 18, 2011

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

In honor of Father’s Day I decided to provide a sneak peek of the book I am going to write and publish someday. It was originally titled “Stupid Things My Dad Says” but after a recent round of editing has been changed to the “The things my Dad Says” because of two main reasons. First he also says a lot of insightful and helpful things and now I can include those too and Second I now say a lot of the once dubbed stupid things. And I would never say stupid things. Lol

     1.      Excuses are like belly-buttons everybody has them but nobody needs them.
     2.      Don’t be a schmuck
     3.      Do what’s right and Do what’s best
     4.      You deserve to be head over heels in love. 
     5.      Stand up straight you’re a Boeve.
     6.      Dead Horse!
     7.      I couldn’t be better if I was twins.
     8.      Is your integrity worth _______ (fill in the blank with any questionable action)
     9.      I can’t I have a bone in my leg
*I was about 9 until I realized that I had a bone too.

Situational Phrases

Me: I am almost ready I just need to change my shirt real quick.
Dad: Don’t change I love you just the way you are.
      *Like is used in more informal settings

Stranger: How are you doing today?
Dad: I am finer than frogs’ hair.
Stranger: Burst of laughter while Me=eye roll

Cool Stranger: What up?
Dad: My hairline and my brother’s cholesterol. (If an acquaintance is near by their name replaces brother)

Me: Dad will you make me a sandwich.
Dad: (Points at me as if about to do a magic trick) YOU’RE A SANDWICH!

Person: Any probable question that the answer is not really know.
Dad: Licks his finger lets it dry in the air pretends to read it while giving a generic magic eight ball answer.

These are only the basics that I could remember on short notice and while being separated by a LOT of miles. (I tried to google map it but it said that it was unable to calculate directions). I know there are lots more entertaining phrases and good adive. If you remember some feel free to comment.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!


3 comments:

  1. You sure know your father. You made his day. He was missing you kids today and you made him smile. What a sweetie you are! Love you.

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  2. After Olivia had him as a teacher last year: we have also heard (on more than one occasion) # 1 and # 3. It's not just stuff "your Dad" says but stuff "her teacher" says too!

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  3. the i can't i have a bone in my leg came from our Uncle Ern, and i think grandma mulder too. it's a great line and it took me along time to realize i had bones in my legs too!!!

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